Superbug

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Superbug

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

George was tired. Food was getting more and more difficult to find; He could not quite make up his mind whether the lack of food or the lack of privacy was the worse torment.

Everywhere he was crowded; there was no space to live, no space to deject.

Did I say George? I mean now George1. Rather to be precise George1a as my twin brother is George1b.

I speak of myself as “I” but really the tradition says I should say “it” as I am both he and she.

I am very interested in Science. Whenever I can I listen to the tales which circulate among the colony.

Did I say my name was George1a? Now I am George2a;

I will not bore you too much with this genealogy, you can work out yourself as the story goes on who I am.

One of the tales I love most is about a time when there was so much food that you never had to be worried about where to find it and so much space that your neighbor would never shit over you.

Just now I am looking at my brother George2b (which must mean that I am George2a, would it not) and I wonder how it comes that he seems to be browsing with such gusto that mould which makes me so sick. As I am fun of puns I cannot avoid saying that while it makes me sick it makes him thick.

I cannot understand, George3B and myself George3a we are exactly the same yet he seems to be thriving on that mould while I seem to be dying more and more when I try to eat it. How can we be the same and yet he is eating with pleasure what kills me.

I cannot understand, I am George4a he is already George5b, and George5c and George5d and George5e.

As Organism Clinton said:

It is all about genetics, idiot!

Whatever that means.

I am the dying George5a, it is a pity, I was so interested in Science, I would have loved to go on and one day I might possibly have understood what he clever bacteria think.

I heard the story that was told in one colony that the world would not be made up of one dimension, “Here” but made up of three dimensions, some sort of “Here” but a bit to the left and a bit to the right. That much I can understand, after all George5b is not sitting inside me, so there could be some sense in that physics.

But what do they mean with a third dimension?

They call it height, but I have been thinking and thinking and I cannot understand what that could be.

Some of the clever ones ask use to imagine how we would feel if George6B, c, D, e, ….. were not left or right but up or down.

I just cannot understand what they mean.

Just got a message that Georgeb does not want anymore to be called Georgeb,c, d,e,f ….. but John.

This is no surprise, it happens, I could already guess it when I say that my remote brother was munching with such delight that horrible mycelium.

There is a story circulating in the colony, but I do not even know whether I should repeat this story, so many stories circulate;

Well as it seems we still have a bit of time to waste, this stories goes like this.

We would not be the only colony, but there would be other colonies, and the bugs would be both like us and yet very different.

We all ask the obvious question:

What would happen if we meet them?

There is a lot of confusion about the answers, some claim that we will be eaten up, some claim that we will fraternize.

I remember the day some of the brothers came upon a patch of food that they called hasch, and they claimed once they came back to reality, that not only would there be other colonies but there would be other dishes. We asked them what they meant wish “dishes” and they just laughed and killed themselves.

It is a pity I cannot eat that mycelium, I was quite a bright organism, I did not find any difficulty in understanding that there where many “now”.

In the beginning I laughed at that nonsense that there could be a “Now” that was before and a “Now” that could be “after”, but feeling that I will not duplicate much longer I begin to understand that there could be a “before” and an “after”. Superbug says that he has called it time; Well why should I object to it, it does not hurt me, even if as George6a, most events do hurt me.

I recall with emotion my meeting with a hyperbug called Onesteina1.

He claimed that we were living in an endless world that was limited by a barrier.

I did not understand a word of what he explained but he sounded so convincing. Superbug said he called the barrier, the Petri transparent barrier. I could not make any sense of why he had called that barrier “Petri” barrier.

Not more than I cold understand what he meant with transparent.

Once I met a strange bud called Zorathoustra1a; What a silly name!

He claimed that our presence here had a meaning.

A meaning, I could not even understand the world, far less what he meant by it.

Strange bug called Zarathoustra1a claimed that the purpose of our live was to see if we one day would be able to eat the dark and grey matter.

In those days I laughed, but in those days I was Georgeminus123a.

Today I see that the George7b are happily munching and thriving on the dark and grey matter mould that was considered to be the ultimate boundary of the Universe not to be touched, the penalty for touching it being death.

By the way, you look quite reasonable so I would guess that you would be like the other ones and laugh at me if I tell you that there are little green men that observe us?

Yes, you do laugh!

It is true that they are not green but white

There is a big light, and then that light pinpoints you and you here a lot of clicking and you have a feeling of being counted. Yes I know that there is no such word as “counted” but I cannot describe it any better. When that light is shining on us, quite often many brothers vanish.

Well you can laugh as much as you want, I know what I saw, and I will say no more.

The lab assistant came in the bacteriological room and looked at the Petri dishes.

He was terribly disappointed.

Boss, the “Golden Aureus” have managed again to mutate and are no longer contained by our new antibiotic. These stupid bugs even appear to be thriving on is.

He leaned towards one of the dish and did not notice that one of the brothers managed to get into his eye with the Hyper four dimensional quanta drive we had built.

The lab assistant took a trolley and began piling up all the Petri dishes on it, and once they were all piled up he brought them to the autoclave and incinerated them.

He put a note on the autoclave for the maintenance staff to clean it up after four hours and a note for the students to start a new batch.

The brothers who had made the hyper quant jump on the note waited.

The lab assistant went home, his wife told him that his mother had died, he cried, she took him in her arms, she licked away some of the tears to console him, and that way Al'Qaida1, b, c, d, e, f, got into her.

At the institute for Scientific Research it was just another day, one must get used to failure.